absolutely chummy. hmmph.

being a decent friend is hard enough. i guess i often try to be a GOOD fren far too much. yes, i do have my evil and cold side of me but then again, i'm just being me at the same time. "spread da luv" is abit of my life motto. so yea... i'm cruel but not too bad. i know the limits.

okay... so wad am i blabbing about? pretty obvious though. being a good fren doesnt guarantee you one with the matching dedication and commitment you put into the frenship. with many reasons, i choose to believe there is a simple and logical solution to pretty much every thing in life. same goes with frenship. i was enjoying the simple laughs and fun of a new friendship with other good chums but, it suddenly turns stone cold dead. why ah?

i.could.not.think.of.my.wrong.doing.

after a few days, i decided : okay la~ i'll be the one to say sorry for wadever i cud possibly have done wrong when actually, i JUST CANT THINK OF ANY!

label me naive or stupid, i thot things wud be orite, cuz it didnt. i sed sorry and in my face, was called 'irritating' in mandarin.

like i said, being a good fren is not easy.


sumthing else niggling in my mind is.......
fuel prices are up, everything known to man on the market has also up on their prices. except for air and... nothing else actually. even water and electricity bills are costlier. gosh. wad d eff are people gonna live happily? and think about the average and low income earners?! my opinion---> i think it's the Prime Minister and his ma cai's doing. who cares? they're all multimillionaires! where's d pinch with a less than a ringgit's diff in product prices?

nuff sed

i looked at you and finally knew.
there was no need to pretend
that for you, i would kill
to forever be with in the end.

why cant i just fall out of love? i think, its true. i'm in love with being in love. but its more of the the love-hate thingy. i dont wanna be in love.


clearing my study table and found two boxes full of unworthy/useless paper! past year questions, lecture notes, calculation rough paper and nonsensicalscribblings... i know i should recycle. but the question is... should i recycle with the college or by myself? with the on-going recycle campaign in college held by the Student Welfare Committee - Green Life, is somewhat... dissappointing. being the biggest and more influential club, they shud be setting an example of how to run a successful campaign. instead, i've heard nothing of the campaign! i did not even notice there was a recycling campaign! it just happened that, one day, as i was walking to the multipurpose hall to join frens for a game of table tennis, noticed my frens sitting beside lotsa boxes.

*pointing the boxes*
"you brought those boxes in? for wad?"
"ha? not me la! SWC de! they want recycle wa..."
" hai meh? how come, like, mou teng gor geh?"
"they also dunno doing what la... i come in also like dat liao"

asking those in the club committee, some of them just shyly smile and said that, it wasn't their project. another few will say that they're just following orders and the seniors seem content doing it themselves rather than share the workload with the freshies.

how odd. i would gladly part mith my workload with the juniors in hope of not only, *i admit it! i'm a bit lazy! haha* making it easier for me but also giving the juniors opportunity to learn how a campaign is run. a banner isnt enuff as publicity. one measly A4 sized poster on top of the boxes isn't enuff either. suggesting - word of mouth. enuff said.

basketball amidst the traffic

i'm not really into watching every new movie in the cinema, with more than five tagging along. i prefer going out once or twice a month with just two or three close frens.

maybe the teenage craving of supreme popularity is coming to an end? now, i'd rather relax on the couch at home or at the back of the fourwheel drive at the beach, with a fren or two, laugh and talk or just read a book with my mp3. in class... i'd rather just sit with a laidback friend, rather than to hang out and form a noisy, up to no good, notorious rich/famous clique. i'm tired of keeping up with the gossips and late night out. i'm tired of rebelling and trying to be so strong.

the perks? a happier and simpler me. i feel more relaxed than ever before. ok... i'll quit talking abt my 'then' and 'now' crap.

my first celeb crush? ---> Jason Behr iloveyou!

(had a majormajormajormajorMAJOR crush on this fella even when he was still in Roswell!) omg... the hunk is hot! hahah! the word HUNK alredy means hot fella... i simply had to add the word hot! he's just absolutely yummy! heheh!




the movie D-Wars (dragon wars) sucked big time. it was a horrid horrid blend of east+west, technology and bygone eras, love from the past life... yawn.... snore...vomits... i fell asleep imagine this star-wars looking fella being hit by a car twice and when he's laying down on the road, he mutters: shyt( in the star war roughened voice.) then there was not single DRAGON in sight for the whole one hour and a half... until the last fifteen minutes of the movie. showing a dragon rawring and belching fire before flying off to heaven. disappointing la i tell u. i was whining and screaming in my head to get out of the friggin cinema. i fell asleep while panda kept criticising and poking fun at the movie. hahah!

oh! and i was challenged to dribble a basketball around the traffic-jammed parking lot on the way home. i was car-pooling with frens when we got stuck in the parking lot jam. everyone is rushing home. waited...and waited for the congestion to ease but still! WHY WONT YOU PEOPLE MOVE FASTER?! so kenny and i accepted the challenge and on the count of three... opened the kenari door, and dribbled the basketball as fast as we cud around and as far as we cud then upon waving to unknown drivers, scrambled back into the car. mad... but fun. imma record it next time =)

bum hurts!

oddly enuff. with only TWO SUBJECTS this semester, i am still ... not at peace? i'm still filled with the need to rush... never just sitting still and have a laugh. i'm amazed at those who can just take a day off and enjoy a road trip to the mountains?! unbelievable. or those who take eight to ten days off their tight schedule to join the Borneo Safari! ohmigosh...

actually, thats been bugging me. sumthing my dad said just a a few days ago... "sit back, relax and enjoy the simple things in life." thinking about it... i guess... i, too often aim for the big prize... always forgetting to set aside sum time to relax and just.. ENJOY. my mistake wud be when i was in the committee fer orientation 08. i was stressed out and always taking up more tasks and rushing all around. i forgot that it was sumthing to be enjoyed rather than to be slaved away. maybe... in a way, i was just keeping myself busy. i don wanna think about other depressing stuff. hahah~

now, i'm on sum kinda practical course to be a more relaxed person. i AM trying la! hahah~ according to my coursemates Panda and Dona, i'm always in a panic-mode. " WHERE GOTTTT?! " I screeched in protest. and their reply? " you see? thats wad i mean " argh.. testing my patience ya'all!

i'm deprived of the following :

• shopping! i dun care if its shoes, underwear or cars! BRING ME! if my schedule permits me to join u :P
  
• intellectual debate anything but cartoons, math, games...etc
  
• fren-enemy drama either i've changed or i just lost my touch of creating drama?
  
• emotional connection in short, i need a reli good fren or a boyfren.
  
• any sort of healthy addictions my badminton buddies cant find the right time anymore.. replacements anyone?
  

hahaha! actually its more of " i miss those stuff" rather than "i'm deprived of"
OH! FYI : tripping OUT of ur car is sooo not funny! my butt hurts like mad!