more or so... i noe

in two days i'll know the outcome of the youth camp we're currently organizing. in two days, i'll know if all the sacrifices made by my team and i was worth it. i'll know who are truly supporting me and really wanting to see this succeed.

if i fight for what i want, it'd look selfish but then again, i think alot of people would hv done the same if they were in my shoes. but then again, people are very bias or narrow minded here. they gossip like old women and somehow, unintentionally they go all out to sabotage your reputation.

its not like i do this to solely benefit myself... i do admit it does benefit me in some ways but at least i try my best to benefit others too! and in most situations, i let others benefit more!

i'm actually getting lost. no longer encouraged or motivated or even interested to be involved in anything, even in planning or being a leader. being accused of being selfish or inconsiderate of others, hurts like hell. i wished i wasn't the chairperson/president/leader in the first place. but then again, its inevitable right? for years, i've tried being the follower... it just nvr worked... i'm just slightly discouraged and more likely, emo. hahaha...